At Home Link Family Support, we support many families and each family is unique. Lewis (aged 4) was waiting for an Autism assessment, when his family were referred to Home Link Family Support. He lives with his Great Auntie, who is his legal guardian and his Mum, Sophie. His legal guardian is also carer for his Mum, who has mental health issues. At the time they were referred, Lewis’ carers were finding it difficult to manage his behaviour, and it was difficult for Lewis to take part in a daily routine. The family felt quite isolated and that they needed some support with this.

An Early Years coordinator visited them at home, and discussed the family situation and the issues that they faced. Together they set a personal goal, for Lewis to be able to take part in a daily routine and for the family to be supported in doing this. The Coordinator discussed how to use a visual timetable with the family, and supported them in starting to use this with Lewis. Mandy and Sophie said that they found this very helpful. Lewis gradually became more independent with his morning routine. The support provided then developed into supporting Lewis’ learning at home. The Coordinator supported the family to use a social story with Lewis to help with his behaviour. The family received regular visits, where Lewis’ Mum was able to take part in play sessions with the Coordinator and with Lewis. Lewis’ Mum said that she felt listened to and not judged. Her confidence as a Mum developed during the visits. The play sessions focused on Bookbug, drawing, crafts, outdoor play and imaginative play. Lewis and his Mum both really developed their imagination as they played together during the visits. The Coordinator also helped the family to attend a Bookbug session at their local library. Because Lewis had become familiar with Bookbug at home, the family then found it easier to go along to the library session.

The support is now drawing to a close as Lewis has started school. Mandy and Sophie said:

“The support has been a lifeline for us. We couldn’t have got through the last few months without the support and strategies provided by Home Link. The Coordinator gave us strategies to use with Lewis, and explained them in a way that we could understand and use. Lewis has really come on and is now really interested in letters and words. We were also able to take him to a group over the summer, where we made some new friends. We would not have done this without the support of Home Link. As Lewis was able to build a relationship with the Coordinator, this gave us the confidence that he could do this with other adults outside of the family.”

(Names have been changed)

“When I heard my five year old say ‘Mummy’ for the first time, it touched my heart . . .  Home Link’s Support gave me confidence as a mother.”

Emma was aged 4 when her family were referred to Home Link Family Support. She was in her pre- school year, and had a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Emma’s Mum, Grace, said that she was feeling isolated after receiving this diagnosis. Emma said “bye bye”, but did not use many other words to communicate.

The family was visited by an Early Years Coordinator, and supported to set some personal goals. Grace’s main priority was supporting Emma’s communication development. The Early Years Coordinator then visited the family on a regular basis. The Coordinator carried out Bookbug Home sessions with Emma and her Mum. The sessions were adapted to meet Emma’s communication needs. For example, when singing nursery rhymes, we paused for Emma to fill in the gaps. At first, Emma took a long time to do this, and found it difficult to join in. “Twinkle twinkle little star” was the first song that she started to join in with. We also played games and used Signalong signs to encourage Emma to communicate and take turns. Grace continued these activities with Emma during the week. In particular she did a lot of singing with her.

After we had been working together for a few months, there was a dramatic change in Emma’s development. She started to use several words to communicate for the first time. She became very familiar with all the Bookbug songs, and joined in with them on the visits. She developed her ability to look at books, and her concentration abilities. We spent some time going out in the garden and creating opportunities to use language when playing outside. Emma’s language skills really took off!

“The support from Home Link Family Support was really awesome, and so inspiring – it really helped me and gave me confidence as a mother. The first time Emma said “Mummy,” it touched my heart and I felt a new connection with her. I was able to relate to the Coordinator as she had a friendly approach. I felt free to express myself and to open up. I always looking forward to every visit, and Emma really looks forward to it too.”

Grace

As Early Years Coordinator visiting this family, it has been a privilege to be part of their journey and to see Emma making such amazing progress. Grace has been inspiring in the way she has set a personal goal and worked towards this, and has really developed her confidence as a Mum.

(Names have been changed)

A blog by Julie Macleod, Systemic Practitioner.

As part of Home Link’s commitment to the Newbattle Community I offered my services to the Summer Programme at the Newbattle Learning Community’s Summer Programme 2019 working with children and families and I’m so glad I did.

It’s an ambitious programme bringing together the community to have fun in the summer.  This includes families and workers from social services health, education, police, fire, third sector, private sector, and volunteers of all ages.

Some families make their own way and some are picked up in the community by our mini buses, making sure that everyone who wants to attend can.  When the families come in they are greeted in a friendly manner with the choice of a fist bump, a hug, a high five or a handshake.  Everyone seemed to enjoy this way of connecting and I overheard one parent say that it was the best hug they had had in a long time!

Once they are through the door they sign up for activities and both parents and children get the chance to have a break from one another as well as do activities together.   There’s a variety of activities on offer for children of all ages, for example, Judo, Yoga, Outdoor games, Zumba, Swimming and Skating.   Some of the children were trying out activities for the first time!  There’s also a Bairnzone (crèche) where parents can play together with their younger children.  This allows parents to take part in 1-1 sessions with health and wellbeing practitioners or attend group sessions.  All activities are staffed so that children can be supported to get the most out of them.

The Parentzone provides a space for parents to sit down and have a cuppa and talk to each other, making connections with other parents in their community, sharing difficulties and their expertise with one another.  There are also structured activities for parents to reflect on and learn about child development and different parenting approaches.  I spoke with a group of parents about how they keep their ‘emotional cup’ full so that they can ‘fill up’ their children’s cups  when they need it,  we realised that there were many similarities in what both adults and children need to feel well, and the things that push our buttons and make us feel drained.

At the end of the day there are family activities where kids and their parents can have fun cooking, baking, crafting or swimming together!  Bringing so many people together can be challenging and at times emotions run high but the programme provides an understanding, supportive environment where people are supported rather than judged.  There is a belief that everyone is doing the best they can in their circumstances and this applies to the staff the children and the parents!

If funding allows I’ll be back next year with bells on!  Having fun together as a family is vital when it comes to developing relationships and creating family stories and memories of the good times you have had together.  I certainly feel that I’ve made stronger connections with everyone involved and I’ll remember the happiness and joy that I witnessed in staff, parents and children alike.

Home Link Family Support’s Systemic Practitioner Lyn Williams, talks about a day visiting families in Midlothian

The Context

This particular day was pretty ‘full on’ encompassing a variety of the models and locations which we use in our work with families. We cover the whole of Midlothian, working primarily with families in their own homes or local community building, wherever the family feel comfortable. Sometimes we work alone; sometimes with another systemic practitioner; sometimes with colleagues from other therapeutic disciplines, primarily Art Therapy. Our first aim is to help families identify patterns of behaviour, relationships and ways of communicating within the family which they would like to change.

Once this is done we agree who’s going to be involved, where and when, for how long and how often we will meet.  This tends to be for about an hour to an hour and a half, weekly or fortnightly, and can be during the day or in the early evening. Our colleagues in early years settings/ primary schools are really supportive and do their very best to enable young people to attend sessions.

The Model

When we are working in pairs we use a ‘reflecting model’ of family work. This involves a conversation between the two therapists about the session. This takes place in front of the family who then get their turn to watch and listen to us and respond to what’s been said.  This sounds a bit odd and daunting to begin with but most families soon get used to it and really enjoy the transparency.  Almost all the feedback about this from families is very enthusiastic.

The Day

From 9.15 until 10.30 a.m. I worked with a family which comprises a birth mother and father of teenagers and two pre-schoolers. Mum, dad and the teenagers attended this session. During this very first session the father was able to speak of his love for the two teenagers and his desire to have a closer relationship with them. We agreed that, before the next session, dad would spend some one-to-one time with each.

From 11.00.a.m until 12.00 noon an art therapist and I worked with a mother and son in an early years setting on the other side of Midlothian. The mum had asked for intensive work on her relationship with her son.  He had been ‘acting out’ some of the scenes of domestic violence, which he had witnessed in the past, by hitting his mum and saying he hated her. Both enjoyed a peaceful hour of artwork together talking about good times they had in the past. The boy ended the session by giving his mum a model which he had made as a present.

The art therapist and I then travelled to another school in Midlothian where we completed another session (12.30-1.30 p.m.) with a mother and son who had been arguing lot. The boy was able to tell  his mum that he misses the attention he used to get from her before the birth of his little sister.

I left the school and drove to the house of another family who have just begun the initial 6-week assessment period – a single mum, a teenager, a pre-schooler and a primary-age child who has just received a diagnosis of ADHD.

Throughout the session the younger child climbed over furniture, ran in and out of the room and refused to comply with any of mum’s instructions. We had a discussion about the amount of practical support which she needs at this point in time.  We looked at the possibility of art therapy support for her child and a family support worker (both through Home Link Family Support) rather than family therapy.

My final session of the day took place in a room in a Social Work office.  My co-therapist and I had wanted to do some work with the parents of five children without the children being there. The Social Worker looked after the children in one room whilst we worked with the parents in another. To give them space to talk freely.

We completed some work on a family tree/genogram. Both parents learned something about the other’s upbringing which they hadn’t previously known. This helped them to see some of the reasons for each of them parenting in the ways which they now parent their own children. Both were trying to copy or replicate what they saw as good parenting by their own parents and change or correct actions which they never wanted to repeat with their own children.

By 7.30 p.m. when I finished work I was really tired but, more importantly, found myself reflecting on how very privileged we are to be allowed into people’s lives and to be trusted with their very  personal stories and emotions. This job is so very, very much more than ‘just a job’!

Katie has two children under 5. Due to complex circumstances, the children have had some difficulty adjusting to family relationships and engaging with other children.

Their behaviour at home is sometimes difficult to manage. An Early Years Coordinator from Home Link visited the family, and spent some time getting to know them. The coordinator discussed a support plan with the family, and the family identified what was going well and what they would like to work on. They were then matched with a supportive volunteer.

The volunteer visits for 2 hours a week. Initially she spent time getting to know the family, and playing with the children. Once they were comfortable with each other, the visits developed to include crafts, and role play, as well as free play. The children and the volunteer use lots of imaginative play, which lets them practice interacting with different people and situations.

Katie is delighted and has really noticed a change, her own mood has improved and she says:  “Daniel always looks forward to the volunteer’s visits. It has really developed his confidence. He has developmental difficulties, and the time with the volunteer has really helped. His language skills have developed and he’s learned lots of new words“.

The visits will continue for 12 months.  The coordinator will continue to review the progress with the family, and develop the support plan to meet their changing needs.

A referral was made to Home Link Family Support by a Health Visitor who was concerned for a mum’s well-being as she would rarely leave the house and this was affecting her children. The family was allocated to our early years home visiting service.

The co-ordinator explains: I arranged to visit.  She began to tell me what had happened.  It was clear she was a very loving mother but she had suffered a lot. One of her three children had been lost in a tragic accident. The mother had withdrawn completely and had understandably not been well enough to face the world since then.

She  was soon matched with a volunteer who lives locally and they hit if off from the start. The volunteer visited each week for 2 hours and they developed a trusting relationship. Together they would chat and play with her youngest child and very soon they all began to go out together. At first they went on simple walks to local parks and then to the shops together. Everyone was delighted when mum took her first bus trip in three years with her volunteer and her little one, to Gorgie City Farm.

During the course of the match mum also moved house, which in her circumstances was a huge and difficult step for her to take as she had many memories attached to her home. With emotional support from her volunteer however, she did it. This has helped her to move on and also helped her eldest child because the new house was much closer to school and friends.

Now that the match has come to end, mum is comfortable  going out to new places with her youngest and is even feeling ready to return to work. No one can ever fully recover from such a tragedy but mum says that having a volunteer to take these steps alongside her has helped her to start living her life again.

In our final meeting together mum said she now feels stronger, stating that ‘Home Link Family Support have been a wonderful support to myself and my children. I feel a lot more able and have more confidence in myself due to all the encouragement from my volunteer’.  

As Early Years Family Practitioner with Home Link Family Support, people often ask me ‘What do you actually do?’

I provide a home visiting service to families with at least one child under 5 years & attending a Midlothian Nursery. I work collaboratively with the nursery head teacher & staff team to organise and/or support early learning & family learning opportunities. This includes toilet training advice, sharing books together, attending Child Planning meetings and group work.

My 25hr working week is flexible and varied. No two weeks are identical but typically include home visits to the families I work with, time spent in nursery, delivery of group sessions and admin time.

The other questions people often ask me is ““How are families identified & what do you do with the families you visit?”

This is varied, specific to each family and confidential. The families I work with have, through dialogue with key members of nursery staff, identified something which is presenting a challenge and may be having an impact on their child’s nursery attendance or on an aspect of their child’s well-being, learning & development.

When I initially visit a family, I spend some time getting to know the family and what they are seeking in terms of support. My role is to tailor my visits to what the family feels would be of most benefit. Mostly I work with Mum and the children.

Often, I visit regularly, engaging the children in early learning through play activities; I provide a listening ear for Mum – someone to share worries or concerns and bounce ideas off; together we discuss the everyday challenges of raising a young family and what strategies might help to improve a particular situation. This could be in terms of the daily demands of looking after one or more children under 5 years, establishing or improving family routines, parenting skills, managing challenging behaviour or helping Mum cope with anxiety, poor mental health or feelings of isolation.

The period of time I work with a family varies, depending on individual circumstances and their wishes. I may work with a family for a relatively short period of only 3 – 4 months or I may work with a family for up to a year. In some instances, I work with a family as they prepare to leave nursery, over the summer holiday period and as the child begins and settles into Primary 1.

Home Link’s Systemic Practitioners visit families at home, to provide a form of therapy for them all together. It helps relationships and makes sure everyone’s voice is heard.

The work of a Systemic Practitioner is full of variety.  I might be out and about in the community, in family homes or doing  1:1 sessions with children in schools.  One of the things I like best about Systemic Practice is that you take time to get to know the families, and for them to get to know you, before you start to work together.  Creating a shared understanding of their past, present and hopes for the future.   Helping them to make sense of their family’s story, to see patterns that occur across generations and think about how this might be affecting them and their children now.

We think about roles that we play and who defines these roles, for example, what does it mean to be a mother, how should mothers act and according to whom.  We also think about scripts (story lines) that we might consciously or unconsciously act out, for example, we might find ourselves saying things or behaving in a way that is like someone close to us –  that moment when you realise you sound just like your mother!  By thinking about these things people become more aware of their role and their scripts, which ones are useful and which ones they might want to change.

I might find myself in a house on the floor with the family drawing out their family tree or working on a timeline from when they were born, listing all of the significant events in their lives and helping them to think about how this impacts on their current situation.  Then we think about what they might like their timeline to look like in the future.  Sometimes I do this with adults and children separately and sometimes all together.

One of the things I like most about holding a systemic perspective is that the problem never resides in one person, it is always considered within the context of the system and therefore we don’t just focus on the problem.  Being able to draw out and to focus on strengths rather than ‘the problem’ can help to motivate people to identify and to make the changes they would like.  It can also help to put problems in perspective and stop people feeling so overwhelmed. Playing games with families and engaging in activities that they enjoy, helps us all to learn more about the family dynamics and relationships and at the same time improve them.

It’s not all fun and games though, and sometimes I find myself having very difficult conversations with families.  Practising and engaging in systemic work is an emotional journey for the family and me so as part of the work I do, I have regular supervision with my peers, my manager and a systemic therapist.  This makes sure that I pay attention to the feelings I am left with as part of the process and reminds me that we’re all part of the wider system.

It is a privilege to be able to offer therapy in the heart of the community, by doing so we are reducing  the barriers to access support,  and ensuring that families in need get the opportunities at a time that is right for them, in surroundings that are most comfortable and convenient for them, which promotes  equality  and sustainable change.